Driving a Train through your Media Brain

For all of those that aren’t gainfully employed, I say eat Ramen and Be Merry.

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• Vodka
• Gummi bears or worms, sugar-free or regular
• A glass container (a glass with plastic wrap over it will do – rumor has it plastic does bad things to vodka, so be sure there’s no plastic actually touching the vodka).

I put the bears/worms/fish into the glass dishes. Then I poured in vodka until it reached the top of the candy. Using that much vodka makes the candy swell and take on a noticeable but not unpleasant “burning” alcohol sensation. If you don’t want the alcohol that strong, use less vodka. (The amount of time you let the bears soak has no impact on how alcoholic they are. They will suck up nearly every drop of vodka you put in, so the trick is to use the right amount for your taste. You can always add more  if you taste them after a day or so and think they’re not alcoholic enough.)

Then I put the dishes in the fridge. (The purple stuff is plastic wrap I tucked under the glass lids as extra insurance against the fruity smell leaking out into the whole fridge, but I’m not sure it was necessary.) I left the bears soaking for a total of five days, but after three they had absorbed about all the vodka they could. Give yourself time to leave them in at least a couple of days, if possible. This picture was taken about twelve hours after they started soaking – you can see they’ve absorbed some of the vodka because the level of liquid is lower relative to the bears.

Recipe via MixThatDrink

This recipe comes courtesy the LA Times. The individual who pioneered the soup is a family friend, and an absolutely smashing chef.

Green Soup

Active Work Time: 30 minutes * Total Preparation Time: 1 hour 45 minutes * Vegetarian

I like to garnish this soup. Some kind of crumbled white cheese is a natural. My favorites are cotija, a dry Mexican white cheese, and feta. Parmesan cheese is also good. So are croutons, especially if they’re made from rye or pumpernickel bread. Garlic croutons are the bomb, as my kids say. And of course, there’s always sour cream, but because I like the low-fat quality of the soup, I use a spoonful of yogurt cheese instead.

1 large bunch Swiss chard

1 bunch kale

1 bunch green onions, sliced

1 cup cilantro, loosely packed

5 to 6 cups water

Salt

1 large baking potato

2 1/2 teaspoons olive oil, divided

2 onions, chopped

Marsala or Sherry, optional

2 to 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

3 cups vegetable or chicken broth

Freshly ground black pepper

Dash cayenne pepper

1 tablespoon lemon juice, more to taste

Wash the greens thoroughly, then cut the chard and kale off their stems and slice the leaves. Combine the chard, kale, green onions and cilantro in a soup pot with the water and 1 teaspoon of salt. Peel the potato, or just scrub it well if you prefer, cut it into big pieces and add it to the pot. Bring the water to a boil, reduce the heat and let it simmer for about half an hour.

Meanwhile, heat 11/2 teaspoons of oil in a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the chopped onions and a sprinkle of salt and cook them over low heat until they are golden brown and soft. This will take up to 45 minutes; don’t hurry, you only need to give them a stir once in a while, and it’s the slow cooking that develops the sweetness. If you like, you can deglaze the pan at the end with 2 tablespoons of Marsala or Sherry. Increase the heat to medium, remove the skillet from the stove, and add the Marsala. Return it to the stove and cook the onions, stirring, 1 minute. Add the onions to the soup.

Put another teaspoon of oil in the skillet and cook the garlic over low heat, stirring, until it sizzles and smells great, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the garlic to the soup pot and simmer everything for a few minutes more.

At this point there won’t be much liquid in the soup, so add enough broth-about 3 cups-to make the soup a soup. Coarsely puree the soup but don’t over-process it. Anything with potatoes in it can get slimy if you work it too much.

Return the soup to the pot, bring it back to a simmer and taste. Add salt as needed, grind in a little black pepper, add the cayenne and the lemon juice. Stir well and taste again. Now you’re on your own-correct the seasoning and serve big steaming bowls of green soup.

• 2 pounds ground beef chuck
• 1 pound bulk Italian sausage
• 3 (15 ounce) cans chili beans, drained
• 1 (15 ounce) can chili beans in spicy sauce
• 2 (28 ounce) cans diced tomatoes with juice
• 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
• 1 (15 ounce)
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 3 stalks celery, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 2 green chile peppers, seeded and chopped
• 1 tablespoon bacon bits
• 4 cubes beef bouillon
• 1/2 cup beer
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon dried oregano
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons hot pepper sauc
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon white sugar
• 1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese

1. Brown the meat in a pan on a stove. If you are sexually aroused by raw meat, rub said product over your hands, face and skin.

2. Move browned sensual meat into a large pot. Mix in everything else and heat to a hot time.

3. Simmer for (up to) 2 hours. Eat with a spoon.