Driving a Train through your Media Brain

THE MERCHANTS OF COOL

THE PERSUADERS

These took the form of my read this evening. It required far less effort. Oh no! I am a product consumer seeking immediacy of  satisfaction nooooooooooooo!

This is a b-side to the requisite viewing of Adam Curtis’ Century of the Self. Oh! And Mad Men. Nice to consider Mad Men through all this as well.

because I’ve been at a 7-day Tom Vu Success Seminar, and Learn to Drive Mercedes or Cadillac! Stop drinking beer, and catch it. You are loser! get OUT of my way; I make it somehow!

His vocal patterns feel like bunny hops on a rollercoaster, over and over and over again (except for the last, great crescendo, that is).

Fat Lady does not listed to Old Lady. Fat Lady talks because Fat Lady wants to talk. Old Lady does not want to talk. Only wants to Lie Down.

This is no fucking joke. Inspect and verify for the next few days before it’s back to Chris Brown stories.

This is quite the fucking bandwagon that’s rolling down the hill of pathos. Why wasn’t anyone lauding the man like this when he was alive? Wouldn’t that be the actual fitting tribute? Why wasn’t Solange Knowles speaking so candidly when Michael was in fucking court? When he was being pulled out in his jam-jams on molestation charges? Where was Gladys Knight then? Hmmmmmmmm, Diddy?

This is what had to happen. Michael Jackson had to die; that was the only action that could absolve the sin of monkey weirdness and sluggish comebacks and manage to miraculously iron out the irony from a Jeff Koons work (which is the true miracle of this funeral march). He was going to pay for his Media Transgressions with his fucking life; then, and only then, would he be called a visionary. As opposed to a pedophile.

Do yourself a favor, and preface every MJ-related sentence you hear in the Touching Michael Tribute rigamarole with the phrase “Now that he’s dead.” That way, your sentences won’t be lying to you any more.

(

DON’T CLICK HERE (unless you consider otherwise)

——

So:

I posted the above link for two reasons.

ONE: If Jesus blesses Christians and Google blessed this woman, Google is newJesus.

TWO: A visit to the site itself (the excessivity of the caveats was born from a desire to justify the size of the deployment of the Caps key) reads like a “Dummies Guide For Idiots to Snookering Dumb Idiots amidst the Technological Malaise.” Repeated uses of the words “Google” and “Blog.” Pictures of checks, and people holding checks. Smaller pictures of those check-pictureless posters picture’s heads. Lots of links where links aren’t usually located. Disneyworld.

Fuck it.