Archive for the ‘ terrible ideas ’ Category

Iran’s Supreme Leader Outlaws the Teaching of Music

In a program called “No Child Left Enriched,” the Ayatollah of Iran has banned the teaching of music. Quickly, we must summon and deploy Kevin Bacon. From The Guardian:

“Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said today that music is “not compatible” with the values of the Islamic republic, and should not be practised or taught in the country.

In some of the most extreme comments by a senior regime figure since the 1979 revolution, Khamenei said: “Although music is halal, promoting and teaching it is not compatible with the highest values of the sacred regime of the Islamic Republic.”

Khamenei’s comments came in response to a request for a ruling by a 21-year-old follower of his, who was thinking of starting music lessons, but wanted to know if they were acceptable according to Islam, the semi-official Fars news agency reported. “It’s better that our dear youth spend their valuable time in learning science and essential and useful skills and fill their time with sport and healthy recreations instead of music,” he said.”

Whatta piece-a shit!

I deliver that comment from a vast bank of ignorance re: both Iran and Islamic values, but the music-slam in the third paragraph! This guy’s got a real turd in his punchbowl!

Why have I not yet seen this film?!?

Captain and Tennille’s “Muskrat Love”

The laugh track hit my ear so hard. I was startled to hell.

At 2:10, the Captain is fucking finger-syncing. And unless this is a music video (the Bangles were after this, right?), Tennille is fucking lip-syncing. The entire operation is a sham. Just a skipper hat and fucking muskrats, is all.

Soulcrushing?

Or… I couldn’t even write amusing. This is crushing. There is no question. Entirely deserving of life-aversion. And puzzling, when put into perspective. And sad. Oh my god – time to cruise the Tom Green oeuvre, to see if my former assertion as to the tenure of his comedic quality was founded or unfounded! (for the record, 7th grade me really got a kick out of the MTV program. a big kick!). two exclamation points

How To Spot A Meth Cooker

I share a striking number of similarities to meth cookers. Wait a minute… I must be a meth cooker! And I thought I simply had an robust, sweetish scent of cat piss hanging round naturally.

4 Cans of Copenhagen

In Ma Mouf. And look – it’s under his armpit, to boot! What a might American; his teeth are brown as Appalachia in Autumn.

The Unbridled Insanity of Jackie Chan

aka CITY HUNTER. Boooo-inininininininininining!!!!

Obama Supports Extension of Patriot Act Provisions

No particular reason for the Spider-Man cover (although I could make a nerd-good Civil War allusion about Spider-Man’s reticent endorsement of Tony Stark’s Patriot Act-esque Registration Act, parlaying into the balance between Freedom and Order, but that would doubtless be excessive). Huh.

From NPR:

“The Obama administration supports extending three key provisions of the Patriot Act that are due to expire at the end of the year, the Justice Department told Congress in a letter made public Tuesday.

Lawmakers and civil rights groups had been pressing the Democratic administration to say whether it wants to preserve the post-Sept. 11 law’s authority to access business records, as well as monitor so-called “lone wolf” terrorists and conduct roving wiretaps.”

Expect No Mercy

Starring Tie-Bows Billy Blanks. Of course.

Kangaroo Boxes Unwitting Man, Woman Owners on Talk Show

I assumed precision was the best choice in regards to the title.