Driving a Train through your Media Brain

Please, take a wild, mad guess. My postulation:

The donkey, Wonder Woman’s attorney and notary public, reveals his true Ghost form before offering Woman some of his wall oatmeal. However, the foodstuff deciedes a role reversal is the best course of action and attempts to eat our Woman wholesale. But, unbeknownst to both the Donkey and the wall oatmeal, Wonder Woman is a breatharian, in turn breaking down the door to suck in some of those sweet, sweet nutrients.

I don’t know, man. There’s something latently aggravating about this? The RZA, Morpheus? Jake Gyllenhall, Gin Mugging? (in fairness, the Fire Marshall Bill extension on the neck slice was pretty sensational and almost completely redeems his inclusion).

My intelli-gut reaction to this would normally be “Smug Bullshit,” but it can’t even muster up the energy to feel pleased with itself; it can merely exert a presence amidst its sagging fatigue. In a weird way, part of the reason I loved the first Vampire Weekend album was because it felt like something stripped down, a bootleg that I got from a friend. Something clean, undisturbed, unpackaged, unsold – something that wouldn’t need a weezer music video to become Timeless.

It’s feels like it’s built to be, gross, built to be viral. All slow-motion shots. Oddball celebrity cameos. underwhelming pop-culture references, and shitty music. Whoops.

Anyways, pedantry will also lose out to hundreds of millions of dollars. Seeya!

(I’ve switched from beginning every paragraph with a parenthesis to ending every post with a colloquialism)

Every boy is a homosexual, and every girl is a painted whore. Except for the girl in the yellow and the little black man. Those motherfuckers are straight up, yaheardme.

Every time someone speaks in this video, it sounds like [given speaker] is pushing out a kidney stone.

As always, big up to EverythingisTerrible.

What a weird grouping of stories. They read like Donald Barthelme, a feat that I don’t suppose was intentional on the part of the Grimm Bros. Or, maybe it was.

The stories start out mundane enough, but hastily move into weirder and weirder territory, masking intent with talking whatevers. An overarching sense of dread and confusion, I think is the phrase. I’m absolutely reading this to my children.

Originally conceived (and storyboarded) in 1945, the short was abandoned by Old Uncle Walt because of WWII and Hitler. Unearthed 65 years later during the production of Fantasia 2000 on Ice: The Movie Experience, Roy Disney re-ignited the project and finished the film, using Dali and Disney animator John Hench’s extensive and byzantine storyboards (Hench actually completed 18 seconds of animation back in 45 to convince the Good Old Uncle that the film was worth making; Walt thought otherwise. The animation was included in the finished film, at 5:21. It’s actually one of my favorite segments). Backstory, completed!