Archive for the ‘ Old Stars I Would Bang ’ Category

Old Stars I Would Bang: Dixie Carter

Namely for this very video. Though technically not a star (“Dixie Carter is best known for her portrayal as the soft spoken Southerner Julia Sugarbaker in “Designing Women” (1986)””), she is old, and I would totally bang her. Namely for this video.

The crazy is a literal intolerable, but I bet she’s wild in the sack. Alas, a negative on the midwestern honey field.

Old Stars I Would Bang

(((misogyny alert)))


Once a honey, always a honey. And I’m not even talking about Indiana Jones Karen Allen, though I chose a picture from said film (honey fighting off snakes? double honey!). I’m talking about Starman Karen Allen. Backlit, husky voice damaged waitress Karen Allen. And, to a lesser degree, Animal House Karen Allen. But mainly just Starman. Hot honey hurts my face and tongue!

She manages to achieve the Just Slightly Older Without Being Saggy paradox that plagues so many would-be honeys and old stars alike. She’s eternally 31 yo babysitter hot used to be a biker and cigarette smoker and would do it again. Paradox and paradigm, all in one.

And what’s more, she’s from Illinois; Midwest honeys are the best honeys in the world, yaheardme.¬†Go watch Starman and pop a boner for this extra hot old honey.