Archive for July, 2009

Jesus. Jesus Christ. Just,

just Jesus. Oh, god.

Expect No Mercy

Starring Tie-Bows Billy Blanks. Of course.

JEFF GOLDBLUM QUOTES!

A more hilariously 1997 website I could not imagine. Hell, the thing was built on Tripod, for Pete’s sake!

The administrator’s definition of “memorable quotes” seems to be a trifle bit loosey goosey, considering

“Show me” (QUOTES FROM TRIGGER HAPPY as MICKEY HOLIDAY)

was deemed to be “memorable.” Peruse, and be merry.

Poll: United States Still Largely Inhabite By Bozos

Actually, the poll was concerning American of varying political affiliations (R, D, I) and their enthusiasm/reticence towards seeing a truckload of “Palin 2012″ banners being posted in their tonwn come 2012, but I don’t like to mince words. Hai-ya!

From USA Today:

“When it comes to a potential presidential run, the USA TODAY Poll displays Palin’s strength in the Republican base and weakness among swing voters, who traditionally decide national elections. Republicans by 71%-27% say they’d be likely to vote for her if she ran for president in 2012, while independents by 51%-44% would not.”

As long as we’re talking about The Palinator, let’s step back in time and review some of her Greatest Hits.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Frontline, Online

If you’ve never watched an installment of PBS’ “Frontline,” then hurry up and get the hell on it. Dollars to donuts, better than NPR. And before you tell me they’re two different beasts, look down at my hands; I’ve got your donuts and your money.

Leona Anderson’s “Music to Suffer By”

Hands and hats down, one of my absolute favorite albums of all time. I listen to it continuously: in the shower, on the train to work, at dinner parties, hang gliding. Absolutely, perfectly suits itself to any scene or scenario.

Discovered by main-man Ernie Kovacs (a comdian golden calf who I’ll undoubtedly talk about later on down the line), Leona was the self-professed “worst singer in the world.” She was the greatest of all time. 9/11. Never forget.

Fat Lady and Old Lady (109)

Fat Lady does not listed to Old Lady. Fat Lady talks because Fat Lady wants to talk. Old Lady does not want to talk. Only wants to Lie Down.

And Now, Evil.

The desperate flailings of a Network Gone Mad. Goddamnit, is Glenn reprehensible in his jackassery.

Robot…. WITH THE BRAIN OF A RAAAAAAAAT!!!

What a horrible, hoary future we live in. Oh well – at least this will give us something interesting to fight in 20 years.

Salvador Dali and Walt Disney’s “Destino”

Originally conceived (and storyboarded) in 1945, the short was abandoned by Old Uncle Walt because of WWII and Hitler. Unearthed 65 years later during the production of Fantasia 2000 on Ice: The Movie Experience, Roy Disney re-ignited the project and finished the film, using Dali and Disney animator John Hench’s extensive and byzantine storyboards (Hench actually completed 18 seconds of animation back in 45 to convince the Good Old Uncle that the film was worth making; Walt thought otherwise. The animation was included in the finished film, at 5:21. It’s actually one of my favorite segments). Backstory, completed!